


Starscream and the Internet

by Helloandwelcometohell



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Cybertronian on the Internet, Gen, I will add tags and characters slowly, I’m only going to add the most important characters for now, Kinda, Starscream being Starscream, Starscream redemption, he is pissed at humanity, neutral starscream, oh look this fanfiction has plot, that showed up, through the internet, what a twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloandwelcometohell/pseuds/Helloandwelcometohell
Summary: Starscream hadn't intended to get involved with human culture. All he wanted was something he could kill Megatron with.And to be fair, interacting with an inferior species was a good distraction from his own problems.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 88





	1. Didn’t do nuffin

**Author's Note:**

> Starscream gets disturbed by Dame Tu Consita

Starscream's claws tore through the metal of his clone. It was such a disturbing concept that he had to mutilate a copy of his own body. How often had he feared to get this treatment from Megatron, should the warlord finally grow tired of the schemes of his Second in Command? It was ironic, really. Ironic, but necessary.

Beggars couldn't be choosers. He relied too much on his t-cog to let this opportunity pass by. Without his ability to transform and fly away, he was too vulnerable. Autobots and Decepticons alike would not hesitate to kill him when they finally found him. He couldn't even move outside of the Harbinger when it was daylight because of the possibility of being seen by humans. Of course the thought of exposing their entire species to them had crossed his mind, to have revenge on both factions and force them to act. But Starscream had already allied himself with humans and what had been the result? This predicament. These wretched flesh creatures were more dangerous than they looked like. He wouldn't repeat his mistake.

His digits finally found what he had been looking for. Energon dripped down his servo as he carefully pulled out the t-cog. For a moment, he stared down at the body on the ground. How would he dispose of it? He could just let Megatron find it and trick him into believing he had died. Then he'd sneak up from behind and- no, he doubted that Megaron would fall for such an obvious trap. The Autobots were more likely to be fooled by it. But if MECH reached the body first, they would undoubtedly use it for their research and experiments. They already had his t-cog, he refused to let any other part of his body fall into their greedy hands. So he just had to wait for the opportunity to use his clone's corpse for his advantage. 

His optics drifted away from the body and on the tools he had gathered for the operation. "After such a horrific experience it seems appropriate to wait until I am less disturbed..." He wouldn't admit to himself how afraid he was to cut through his own body. He knew he needed to, but one single misstep could mean his death. A medic would be better at handling the procedure, but Knock Out owed him no favors and Ratchet would only help him if he had any valuable information.  
  
His attention was drawn to the control panel. "I guess I might as well search for any sightings of Autobots... and Decepticons..." It still felt weird to have both factions as his enemies. Being a neutral was dangerous enough, but as a (former) Decepticon both sides wanted him dead.

He put the t-cog next to the tools and his slender figure moved to the screen. The Harbinger wasn't connected to the Nemesis, so he wouldn't be able to secretly track any of Megatron's movements from here. But the humans had a worldwide connection to communicate, the so-called 'Internet'. Maybe he'd find something useful there. "I probably won't get any information of much help, but I suppose I'll have to make use of what I have, how little it may be."

It was laughable how easily he was connected to the Internet. For something used so often by their species, they had no actual security. He would have at least expected some sort of code.

He searched for alien sightings on some very weirdly named website -what in Primus’ name was a 'google'?- , but the results were disappointing. It was embarrassing how stupidly close minded humans were. All 'UFOs' had the exact same shape and none looked even _close_ to the Nemesis. It lacked any type of creativity. When he finally found some pictures of what humans believed lifeforms from other planets to look like, they were of green, slim creatures with way too big black optics. It was just insulting.

Now how would he find information if the obvious didn't get him anywhere? They obviously couldn't grasp the concept of aliens that didn't fit their pathetic requirements. Humans had a tendency to not grasp the situation but classify it wrong. It was absurd how many times Soundwave had showed him footage of car thieves trying to break into one of the Vehicons and then running away screaming about a ghost haunting the vehicle. So he reluctantly typed 'possessed vehicle' into the search bar.

Starscream narrowed his optics as he read the results. A human's name, Christine, and some king were mentioned over and over in headlines of articles. He knew that it was the title of a ruler, but as far as he knew there was no king in America. 

Some famous cursed and haunted cars, horror movie recommendations... The seeker knew Soundwave and the Autobots got rid of every sighting of their species, but there had to be _some_ that had slipped under their radar.

Scrolling down the page, he grew increasingly frustrated. He had never paid much attention to humanity before leaving the Decepticons. Soundwave had been the one to spent the three years of Megatron's absence using the humans primitive Internet to locate the Autobots. He had observed the Energon mines and devised training plans. He snarled at the sight of an incredibly stupid title.

"Ugh, this is a waste of time! Even if there was something useful in here, I have no idea how to even navigate through all of this!" He slammed his fist on the panel. A tab opened and he frowned as he was redirected to another website called YouTube. They really were bad at naming things, weren't they?

Starscream watched in confusion as a green alien appeared on his screen. His confusion turned into terror as it began to move its body in a weird way while repeatedly uttering the same phrase in Spanish. It was a nightmare, but he just couldn't tear his optics away. It took him almost a minute of having to witness this torture until he finally found a way to pause it.

"What... what the frag _was_ that? And why does it exist?!" If the numbers were to be trusted, this absurdity had been seen almost three billion times and eleven million had actually _liked_ it. "And the Autobots want to protect humanity! Do they even realize how disturbing they are?! Or are they playing the good guys by overlooking that?!"

Starscream shuddered at the thought of what other things he might find and left the console to go fetch himself some Energon in the back of the ship. He was not going to go back to the Internet, he promised himself. But he already knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise.


	2. Are you trolling?

Starscream absentmindedly stared at the console. It had been a day since his unsettling finding and he had grown... bored. Such a thing usually never occurred on the Nemesis. As the Second in Command of the Decepticons there were countless tasks that kept him busy. When he had free time he usually was scheming against his leader, even though Megatron made sure to give him as little time as possible for any schemes. Now that he had left his faction, he had most of his time spent on survival and his revenge against Megatron. Both had been made harder for him when MECH stole his t-cog.

"Cursed humans! No Cybertronian in their right mind would just steal one of _their_ organs! I want to see Silas after I steal his lung!" he snarled as he finally walked up to the control panel. "Oh, how much I'd love to see him scream in terror... but my revenge against him will have to wait until after Megatron's termination."

Despite his missing flight ability he was proud of himself for managing to get his servos on enough Energon to last for at least three Earth months. So he didn't have to put himself in danger for a while. Unable to track the Nemesis, he'd have to wait patiently until he actually had any means to reach his goal again. One of these means was his t-cog. He might have a replacement now, but he was still reluctant to operate on himself. If something went wrong there was nobody who would come to his aid. His medical expertise was average at best. His life was one of his most priced possessions. He wouldn’t risk losing it.

The problem was that without anything he could do, his boredom and loneliness would drive him insane soon. He had nobody to talk to. Nothing to really engage himself with. Planning his revenge was pointless without having anything to use against his enemies, so why bother? He might as well entertain himself by observing the Internet and trying to find something useful, no matter how distasteful he found the ordeal. Humanity was an unnecessarily weird and cruel species, that much he had gathered.

The console turned on without any problem, though the screen still showed the gruesome sight that enough humans apparently found entertaining. With the simple press of a button, he left the website. Still, he acknowledged the fact that he now knew where to find footage if he wanted to find it. 

"...Alright then, I know that finding any activity of other Cybertronians will be hard. But some of the humans might have an idea where to find information. There should be a way for me to communicate with them personally..." He pausend, reconsidering what he had just said. "No, I haven't sunken _that_ low yet. I am not going to make contact with any human unless it is to crush Silas under my pedes!"

For a moment, he hesitated. Should he really dive deeper into humanity's obscure creation. He had already been confronted with an absolute nightmare, did he really want to find another?

Starscream was going to kill Megatron, take his rightful place as the Decepticon's leader and destroy the Autobots. If he had to use the Internet for information he would do so, he would prove that he was independent. He would start by learning how to navigate through this mess. After that, he would make sure to take note of every websites number of valuable information Then, he would be able to tell which websites were going to give him the results he wanted. It was just that. It was not because of boredom and slight curiosity, not at all.

He stared down at his claws and wondered how to begin.

Starscream knew he should start with something simple. Something that even humans couldn't possibly interpret as something completely different. Typing in weapons might be worth a try. Who knew, maybe humanity had something of value he could use against his enemies.

His optics scanned the results, but he lost interest very quickly. He had hoped to find something about a nuclear weapon, not those tiny guns they used among themselves. Really, those were basically harmless and more of an annoyance than an actual threat against his life.

The seeker remembered his first encounter with the US military, when humans first learned of the existence of Autobots and Decepticons. It was not very surprising that the bags of flesh started attacking before asking any questions after the Decepticons attacked their current base location. They had shot at the Decepticons for some time with their tiny guns until they finally brought tanks and jets to fight them. Their sudden appearance had been a calculated move on Starscream's part. Starscream smirked. It had been one of his better plans, one that Megatron had approved of because he knew how capable his Second in Command was. Not only did they manage to acquire useful alternate modes with weapons in their alt mode, but made the Autobots come out of hiding to prevent a war against all Cybertronians. Unfortunately for him, they managed to convince the government that they were the good guys and didn't want to fight them. Even worse, the Vehicons all changed their alternate mode again to less noticeable ones, so they could drive around without drawing attention to themselves. So he had been beaten and humiliated again by Megatron for his failure.

"Oh, but that is nothing new. I am merely his scapegoat!" Using a large vocabulary of insults directed at his former master, he corrected his search into nuclear weapons. If he managed to find one on a military base he would be a force to be reckoned with. If he managed to use a powerful weapon against his former master, even Megatron would have to admit that he had made a mistake.

Alright, so the first one was an explanation of nuclear weapons from Wikipedia. At least that name made sense. While he appreciated the fact that apparently there was a website that explained things, he was certain that nuclear weapons were something that should not need to be explained.

There was no exact location given. Sure, he knew the names of the countries that had these types of weapons, but without his t-cog he was unable to scout the area from above and find the exact coordinates. He couldn’t just walk around searching for a military base. It would always be guarded and as much as he hated to admit it, they might be able to overpower him without his flight ability.

He was getting more and more frustrated. Knock Out had hinted that you would be able to find anything on the Internet, but clearly this was not the case. The doctor had always been too much of a fan of human creations for Starscream’s taste. He’d probably start making comments about Starscream just not knowing _how_ to find what he was looking for.

He sighed. Knock Out might be insufferable, but he was at least somewhat enjoyable company. Megatron was never good to be around because Starscream never knew when the warlords mood would change and he was turned into a punching bag. Soundwave was loyal to Megatron, no matter how much he had strayed from his goals. The Vehicons certainly lacked the processor to have conversations with and Airachnid... she didn’t need an explanation. Well, Breakdown may not that bad, he still owed Starscream a favour for saving him from MECH.

Was he actually missing the doctor and his assistant? They were not important. He had previously schemed with Knock Out to get rid of Megatron, but he had never formed a close companionship with him. There had been no reason to. He wasn’t interested in his friendship, he needed him to get rid of Megatron. His loneliness was getting the better of him and it was quite irritating.

More to distract himself from is ridiculous thoughts than to learn anything new, he clicked on one of the recommended YouTube videos titled 'What Countries Have Nuclear Weapons?'. Not that he actually expected much from it. There was just a relief in hearing someone’s voice, no matter how unimportant and pathetic they may be. Still, he grew bored fairly quickly. He had read the same thing enough times already.

His optics fell on the comments under the video. Someone complained that the US owed most of the nuclear weapons and didn’t want anyone else to own them in case they attacked, even though they had used theirs before. It reminded him of how the council on Cybertron had tried to keep every mech away from weapons they used against the lower castes unless they were part of the military force. If someone should be able to bring ‘peace‘ - or whatever their warped perception of peace was- it should be them and then alone.

“While I would certainly prefer finding what I need on my own, it looks like I will have to ask them for help as pathetic as it may be,” he grumbled and created an account to comment.

He considered naming his account _LordStarscream_ or _LordofDeception_ , but he decided not to at the last second. It would be an embarrassment to be found by either faction using something the humans had created. Starscream would rather avoid that than have to hear someone mocking him. In the end, he picked _Masterofthesky._ While he might not be able to fly at the moment, he still took pride in his ability. Why should he not?

 _Does any of you vermin know how to educate oneself about the location of nuclear weapons on here?_ he wrote.

He was more than surprised when there were already two replies after just a klik.

_CrazyCatHeart_

_Not nice :(_

Starscream rolled his optics. Humans like this one were just too sensitive. He was actually being nice at the moment. There were a lot of insults he could have used, but had decided not to. It was pretty harmless considering the crimes humanity had committed against him.

_Mashed Potatoes_

_One does not simly google weapons the goverment can see ur search history and arest why u do that_

Starscream stared at the reply. This person didn’t even _try_ writing correctly! It was like they just wanted to sent the reply as soon as possible and their grammar was irrelevant to them! Not only that, but they couldn’t even make actual sentence. Would it kill them to put a question mark at the end of their last sentence? Or any other punctuation marks? What was this nonsense? And what was with the ‘u’ and ‘ur’? This was not proper language, that was just an insult to his intelligence.

_Masterofthesky_

_I'm not going to listen to someone who cannot even punctuate or properly spell 'simply', thank you very much. Only answer me when you know what I asked for._

“What a waste of time. I should have just continued searching,” Starscream growled. This was not worth the effort. He would just leave the console and try to calm down. Interacting with this lesser species was exhausting. It was almost night anyway. He might as well go for a walk and clear his processor.

When he returned to the control panel some time later his mood wasn’t much better. It may have been, if he hadn’t been forced to hide from the Autobot Bulkhead. He had to crouch behind a rock, forcing his wings down to stay hidden until he left. But he hadn’t. And his pet had been there, too. So not only were his wings incredibly stiff, but his audio receptors hurt because they had spent their time listening to agonizing sounds over Bulkhead’s radio. In the middle of the desert! In the night! Who does that?!

So it was safe to say that Starscream was already in the mood to shoot someone before he even read any of the comments. Whining as he touched his wings, he entered the room and made his way to the console. When his optics fell on the screen and he read the new comments, his expression turned angrier and angrier.

_PinkFluffyUnicorn_

_@Masterofthesky Don’t be such a dickhead. He was trying to help you_

_Karma Bitch_

_@Masterofthesky_ _Uh oh, language police!_

_o o f_

_Lol passive aggressive mode activated_

_Asaxad_

_@PinkFluffyUnicorn Hes just a troll. Ignore him_

_Obi-Wan Kenobi_

_Brooo, the fact that you think people will just know where these are is just so funny to me XD_

_Meme Pointer_

_@Mashed Potatoes R/woooosh_

_Turquoise Burn  
_

_@Meme Pointer I’m pretty sure hes serios dude_

_Mashed Potatoes_

_@Masterofthesky_ _ok boomer_

They weren’t even taking him seriously! It was like it was just a joke to them! “‘Dickhead’? ‘Boomer’? Are those insults?! Are these pathetic seriously human insulting _me_?! _How dare you insult me?! You are worthless humans! Your words don’t matter to me!_ “ He slammed his fist on the control panel. The screen glitched and the panel was emitting sparks. _“Humanity can go frag themselves for all I care!”_


	3. What a memeingful day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream found memes. He’s not sure if that’s a bad thing

There really was no use in wasting time talking to these humans. They were treating him like a fool and then calling him names for no reason! Starscream decided he should just stay quiet and not reply to them anymore unless they finally gave him a useful reply. Those little vermin were just not worth it. They were not Megatron, Arachnid or Soundwave. There was no need to argue with such a pathetic species as theirs. They knew nothing about him or his situation, so their opinion didn't matter. And he wasn’t going to tell them anything. They were nothing compared to him, so why should he even bother? He just wouldn't interact with any of them again. Why should he bother what they thought?

That did not prevent him from searching their pathetic insults on that google website to at least understand what they were calling him. If he could update the list of insults he could throw at Megatron's helmet once he gained the unit her ground he would gladly take the chance. But just as he thought, dickhead was a generic insult, not worth remembering. Humans had no idea how to bruise someone's ego without falling back on a combination of inappropriate words, it seemed. He grimaced at the explanation he was given.

Boomer or more precisely, the sentence ’Ok boomer’, was something completely different. It was not actually an insult which was quite surprising. Apparently so called 'baby boomers' were the older generation - at least for human standards. It was how _Mashed Potatoes_ \- that was something they could refuel with... That human had named itself after something it could consume? Why? - had used it in their senseless argument that made a difference. He was rather surprised that humanity had found a reply for stupid arguments where someone had made up their mind already. They don't give you respect in an argument and don’t listen to you, so you don't either. It was an interesting concept, but poorly thought out. In a few decades, the ones that were calling the older generation boomers would take their position and the cycle would continue. Humans were so predictable.

Still he couldn't help but be curious... "What is a 'me-me'?" He muttered. More than once the article referred to it with that name. Should he know what that was? Or was it another thing he would regret ever searching for? Starscream grimaced at the memory of the strange video. Humanity hadn't given him anything even remotely useful so far. Everything was just so chaotic and weird. Maybe he should just stop trying.

No. No, he wouldn't.

Starscream was not a quitter. He may be called a coward by Autobots and Decepticons alike for fleeing the battlefield when the fight was not going in his favor, but his actions were not as unreasonable as everyone made them out to be. He fled so he could live to fight another day. Was that really such a horrible thing? Everyone else seemed to think of it as cowardice, but his survival instincts had saved him more than once. He always came back with another plan. And most importantly, he never forgot. If someone wronged him, he would get revenge sooner or later.

For now, his revenge plans would be postponed until he finally had something useful. He was not going anywhere with what he was doing. He would only get more and more frustrated when there was nothing he could do about his current situation. If the Internet was anything like the archive on Cybertron it would have been simple. But it wasn't, so he needed to adapt otherwise he was doomed.

"I suppose I might as well satisfy my curiosity. There is no need to be impatient. I can wait as long as it takes." If he was unable to get what he wanted he might as well find out as much about humanity as he could to appear trustworthy once he confronted their species the next time. Someone who wanted all of humanity dead would never show so much interest in them. The Autobots were apparently interested enough in these puny humans that they were greeted with open arms.

Rolling his optics at humanity's naivety, he typed 'meme' into the YouTube search bar. Of course he could have used google, but he wanted to see what the other website had to offer. There was always a chance it might actually be able to redeem itself in his optics after the two fiascos he had already witnessed.

Judging from the picture advertising the videos alone, most were probably as much of a trip to the pit as the first one. 'Best memes'. Starscream seriously doubted they were. Humans had such a weird taste compared to Cybertronians. The seeker already regretted searching for it and he hadn't even seen any memes so far! But he had finally found a video with an acceptable picture. He might as well find out more.

He frowned as a kid yelled "I have the power of god and anime on my side!". He continued to frown as a man said the weirdest 'okay' he had ever heard and a picture of a shrugging man with the caption 'Guess I'll die' appeared on his screen. He didn't even know how hard he could actually frown until the video ended. What had that been? Should he be glad he didn't know what an anime was? Or a Pikachu? It was strangely enough not as bad of an experience as he had imagined. He probably would have smiled a few times if all of this hadn't confused him so much. Despite how weirded out he was he felt... intrigued. Should he be worried about this development? Surely he shouldn't feel that way.

The video had ended with the words 'I could include something from Tumblr or Reddit but aren't they already memes themselves by existing? Lol' Maybe he should search those websites as well and see what they had to offer?

Not now. Now, he would look at some other meme videos. He wanted to find a pattern and see what classified as a meme and why. What did some men carrying a large wooden box while music was playing and a drawing of two men dressed in red and blue pointing at each other have in common? Was the context important?

Even after watching some other videos -how many had it been? Ten maybe? - he was still rather unsure. Did it classify as a meme because it was funny or erratic. “I should have just searched it on google. It would have spared me the processorache.”

Oh, he had gotten some new replies on his comment. Should he even bother? It was unlikely there was anything helpful they could write and he wasn't in the mood to get insulted again. He had been the Air Commander on Cybertron and was the Second in Command of the Decepticons. How had he fallen so deep? "If they want to keep pestering me with their pathetic insults I will find out their location and kill them," he muttered as he clicked on the notification. “Even if I get seen by anyone, at least I will get to keep my pride. That’s the one thing I have left.”

  
_Yolo_

_@Meme Pointer Omg stop being such a reddit baby. That's not funny just sad_

There was this reddit again. Starscream frowned. It seemed like others looked down at users of this website. Good to know. He was just glad he wasn't the one being targeted. Still, he couldn't tell why exactly Meme Pointer's comment identified him as a reddit user.

_Meme Pointer_

_@Yolo stfu u stupid twat_

_Yolo_

_You are whoooshing people. Get a life_

_Meme Pointer_

_@Yolo Stop being such a Karen_

Watching them banter was quite amusing. While he did not understand most of what they said, it was refreshing to watch a fight from the distance for once instead of being involved. But still, this was what he had come back for? His optics fell on the last comment.

_Hi I exist_

_Don't you just search for ‘nuclear weapons exact location’? Doesn't that lead you to a list or something? Sorry to bother you just thought it might help. You should really try being nicer next time though. I would call that rude at best, abusive at worst._

Again they told him he wasn't nice. So what? Even if he hadn't been, he was better than them. They might not know it but there was no reason for him to interact with them as if they mattered. And ‘abusive’? What even was that? It was one of those things he would search for later, he decided. “You better hope your advice is actually useful. Don’t you dare waste my time like I’m- What? _What?!_ It could have been that easy?! Why is that-?! Nevermind, I have what I need.”

He hesitated for a moment but then he growled in frustration and typed a reply. They might be of a lesser species but they had helped him in a way.

_Masterofthesky_

_@Hi I exist I guess I should say thank you. You were somewhat helpful._

  
  


With fast steps, special-agent William Fowler made his way to the edge of the platform. Miko looked up from her phone and watched him with growing interest. It had started to get really boring since the Decepticon's warship had crashed. They were busy repairing it, so there had been no fights. Most of the time was spent playing video games now, but that had gotten boring after a while. Where was the fun in doing the same thing over and over again? But if Fowler bothered to show up, it meant something had happened. Something Decepticon related.

"Prime, can you explain to me why Starscream was at the Nellis Air Force Base?" Fowler shouted. "You told me the Decepticons would be busy repairing their warship! But now I have this Con showing up in the middle of the night, showing himself to a few dozen soldiers!"

"Starscream attacked a military base?" Jack looked up from the race game he and Raf were playing and frowned. "What would he want there? Doesn’t he put a large target on his back by doing so?"

Optimus stepped forward. His expression was surprisingly calm for someone who just got yelled at. Miko would never understand how he act so calm. She would have talked back before he had even finished. "We have to remember that Starscream left the Decepticons, but his goal remains the same. He will use any means to kill Megatron, even if he has to resort on human creations . Does the base have any powerful weapons by any chance?" 

"Yes, it has nuclear weapons." Fowler rubbed his temples. "Luckily some soldiers started targeting him with their helicopters and he fled without taking anything with him."

"I don't get it. He doesn't even have a t-cog. He's at a disadvantage no matter what," Bulkhead muttered. Wasn't that another reason to get himself a weapon? So that he wasn't at a disadvantage as much anymore?

"This is Starscream we are talking about!" Arcee answered sharply. "The disadvantage is reason enough for him to act now! He probably wants to offline as many bots as possible!" Optimus put a servo on her shoulder. Her posture became less tense, but her angry expression stayed. Miko glanced to her left to see Jack's expression change to worry. She definitely didn't know as much as Jack did about her, but she knew that Starscream had killed her partner. It really upset Jack to know that she was hurting so much and he couldn't do anything about it.

"But the question still stands: how did he manage to find out where those weapons are located? Even we weren't trusted with this information and if the Decepticons knew they would have attacked it a long time ago. If he is the only one with that information where did he get it from?” Ratchet's optics fell on Optimus like he expected him to know the answer.

"Um, maybe he searched for it on the Internet?" Raf suggested quietly. Within seconds, everyone's attention was on him. Bumblebee beeped at him, probably arguing back against his suggestion, but the boy only smiled. "It's not really that hard to find if you know where to look for it. Just a quick google search and you know where it is."

"So you mean there's a Con getting called a boomer and a Karen constantly? Sweet!" Miko grinned and turned her phone back on. "Oh, do you think we can contact him? That would be so cool! I wanna torture him with memes! Or even better, with cringy fanfictions! After I introduce him to a fandom, of course."

"Miko, I don't think that would be safe..." Jack muttered.

"Awww, come on! Don't be such a wuss!"

"Miko..." Bulkhead said slowly. Ugh, how she hated when he did that as soon as he didn't agree with her. It always made her feel bad. She hadn't even done anything wrong this time! At least not yet...

Ratchet shook his head. "We can't even be sure if he actually got this information from there. And if he did, you will not get in contact with him. If you do, we will have to confiscate your phone. Understood?"

Miko sighed. "Yes, Ratchet."


	4. Tumblr style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter I was pretty demotivated the last two month. Hope this chapter makes up for it

Starscream growled in frustration and kicked his clone in the face. "If you had been there you would have been able to retrieve it, you piece of scrap! And I thought you were an exact copy of me! What kind of clone are you to not be able to live up to the original but still have more resources?! Why didn't you fight more?! Why didn't you manage to survive?!" He paused when he realized what he was doing. This was the perfect trap to confuse his enemies and he was ruining it. He scolded himself for being so reckless. But his point still stood; if his clone had been helping him, his mission would have been successful.

"But who am I kidding? He would have betrayed me as soon as he got the chance. I know that I would have done the same. There is no doubt he would have eliminated me, taken my position as the original and attempted to kill Megatron himself. He wouldn't have succeeded of course, but his chances were at least better than mine." His tone was bitter as he glared at the corpse. It had been a failure but... How could a simple clone still be better than him? Before the war, he had been Air Commander and yet he was here now, hiding from not only his kind, but humankind as well. The seeker could plot to overthrow Megatron as much as wanted, it was impossible. It was painful to admit. He was in no way capable of achieving his goal like this. His clone might have been. It was outrageous but unfortunately it was the truth. "A simple copy that is much more capable than the original. Or at least it was. How deep have I fallen?" He growled. His optics fell on the t-cog he still hadn't touched since he retrieved it.

If he didn't come up with a better plan in the next three Earth days he would try to replace his missing t-cog himself, he decided. He couldn't just try getting a weapon in the next military base. There was no doubt that the adult human he had tortured after killing Cliffjumper was prepared for a second attempt. He was part of the government after all and was in contact with the Autobots. No, he wasn't like Megatron. It would be foolish to try another time. He would have to put his fear aside if he really wanted to get his revenge.

He grimaced as he remembered how he had entered the military base. How humiliating. He'd stumbled in there like a fool. He had seen what humans were capable of but somehow he had still underestimated them. It was one of his biggest mistakes how stubborn he was. Stubborn to the point that he would repeat one mistake over and over again.

It had been such a long time since he had the time to actually think about his failure. Normally it was a cycle of never ending pain and hatred that kept him from these realizations. Megatron would punish him for the smallest mistakes and he would try even harder to get rid of his 'master'. It didn't even matter if a failed plan involved him or not, somehow it was his fault. There had been a time when his status had meant something and he was able to talk back. Now, he knew that getting rid of Megatron was the only way for him to be safe. As long as he was near the warlord he could improvise and use the situation he was presented with to his advantage. His wit had always been his strongest weapon.

But now there was no goal to focus on. He had failed and would continue to do so until he finally regained his ability to transform. Even if he found another weapon on the Internet, it was absolutely useless. What was the point to steal a weapon, only to get killed as well?

"I guess all I can do is wait..." he growled and turned the console back on. There were some new replies on his comment but since he had already gotten his answer he didn't bother to check them anymore. None of them were going to be useful in any way. Instead, he went back to google and searched for 'tumblr'. He probably should find out more about 'reddit' later but he was more reluctant to do so. He had seen someone antagonizing one of the people who used it and he didn't want to be treated with more hostility.

Why would they want to know how old he was? Why did it matter? He considered typing in his real age but found himself not able to type more than three numbers. Ah, yes, humans had a short life span. There was no reason to let someone choose a higher number. Rolling his optics, he decided to choose a smaller number. Apparently, people could trust and relate to someone more easily if he was around their age. Nineteen was a nice number. It was acceptable and allowed him to have certain privileges.

What kind of topics did he want to see... human culture was of little to no interest to him unless he had any use for it. And five topics? "Funny means probably also memes, so that's one... what even is Kpop? No, I don't want that! I don't even want to know what that is... Technology seems like a good choice... I guess I'll choose movies, music and gaming if I want to pretend to be one of them..." It was ridiculous how easy humans could get excited about such unimportant things. 

Once again, he found himself having to create an account to interact with people. How irritating. Should he just name himself the same as his YouTube account? It was a possibility but if one of his accounts was found out they could easily trace it back and see on which websites he had been on as well as what he had said on there...

Should he make this personal? His YouTube name wasn't very personal. It was a simple title, nothing more. He doubted anyone would notice if he used some personal information. The idea was unusual. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have even considered it. The Internet had started to have an influence on him. It was a scary realization but he was merely distracting himself. It was fine.

Something personal... _Thunderwarp._ He felt a slight grin appear on his face. Ah, yes, they had been a trine for such a long time. Comrades. Maybe even friends. Still, he had been the one responsible for their deaths. He didn't really feel guilty about it. Their deaths had been necessary, otherwise he wouldn't be where he was now. However, that didn't mean he didn't miss them sometimes. It was a lonely path he had chosen. Everyone was telling Megatron anything he did. Things had been so much different back when they were still alive. He could imagine them watching him from the Well of All Sparks, their optics filled with anger and resentment. This offense would hardly change anything.

He frowned as a text popped up on the screen.

**Please confirm that you are not a robot.**

Click the check box below to confirm that you are human.

[_] I'm not a robot.

"What?! Should I be concerned? Do humans _know_ of our existence? Or is this some sort of prank?" He didn't like the term robot. He was a member of a superior species from another planet, not a piece of scrap metal built by humans. They would still call him a robot though, so this development was alarming. "If one of these cursed Autobots revealed our existence... or was it Knock Out with his foolish need to compete with humans? Ah, but it doesn't matter. Megatron will have to let his anger out on a Vehicon instead when he finds out." He didn't need to get involved in this.

Starscream did as he was told, rolling his optics when asked to click on certain pictures. What a waste of his time. Hopefully this would be worth it. It started feeling more and more ridiculous. It wouldn't surprise him if this was another one of those little Autobot tricks they loved to use.

Finally, he found himself being able to interact with people. Maybe this would be worth it? He took a look at the front page.

_Slashmonkeyfan666_

_Hey guys, I promised to post some vids of the Slash Monkey concert since so many of you missed it, so here they are. Hope the quality is decent enough. If not I will reblog this post with links to better post_

Starscream couldn't help but be curious. What did earth music sound like? So far, he hadn't gotten the chance to experience any of it. Considering what could go wrong, he clicked on the video. A big mistake. "Oh Primus, it's the audio receptor torture that _girl_ listens to!" He turned it off, shivering in disgust. "Humans have no taste!"

Slash Monkey. This was what this music was categorized as. He would remember that name to avoid it as best as he could. He decided to read some of the comments if only to see if there was any decent person who had actual taste. It took him a moment to realize he had to scroll up instead of down. What kind of system was that? He would have to read the newest comments first and the oldest last.

_Ironblood_

_Tysm, slashy!_

_———_

_UnusAnnusisdeadno_

_Wtf I didnt know there was on_

_———_

_Wish-i-was-somewhere_

_Ew how can you ship that? Its disgusting. Draco was a racist bully idiot_

_———_

_babushka  
_

_I missed it because some friends dragged me into a cave. Could have had a concert there but it collapsed :/_

_———_

_Gekko_

_@Hibbilyjibbily care to explain terf_

_———_

_HarryXHermioneXDraco_

_Slash Monkey is so underrated! I only ever heard of it because Jacksepticeye used it as background music once_

_———_

_Fishywilly_

_That's true but it may change soon!_

_———_

_Shinigamieyes_

_@Hibbilyjibbily wtf is wrong with you  
_

_———_

_Yes-I-Am-Alive_

_@Spiderman-simp stop getting political I just want to listen to their music_

_———_

_Iamlegendery_

_@Spiderman-simp no its amber turd_

_———_

_Spiderman-simp_

_Idk guys, they support still Amber Heard so I just can’t listen to their music anymore when I know they support her even though she is the abuser #justice for johnny depp_

"This is such a foolish design! How can I even see previous comments on the conversation?" Starscream snarled, slamming his fist on the console. "Who even thought this was a good idea? This has hundreds of comments and I have no idea how the conversation even started!"

He decided that he would not get involved with any of the comments since their discussion was already heated, and instead scrolled down the page. Someone had posted a long text complaining how horror movies had gotten predictable... some pictures of some movie called the mcu - whatever that was... someone was drawing for a game called FNaF...

“‘Searching people to play among us with. If you want to join, here is my discord’?” Starscream raised an eyebrow. It was amusing how a human thought that any stranger would care enough about them to play with them. What even was this among us game? Considering human taste, it probably was another nightmare he didn’t want to be a part of.

“I’m just going to make my own posts to entertain myself. Maybe someone on this website is worth to know.”

Raf sat on his bed, typing on his computer. Downstairs, he could hear his sister arguing with their mother. She had probably gotten another invitation for a party. Knowing his mom she wouldn’t let her leave at such a late hour. Mrs Esquivel was normally happy to let her children do as much as possible, but after too many incidents with drunk teenagers she had enough.

The young boy winced every now and then when moving his arms too much. He had been so stupid! It had been a while since Vince and his gang had hurt him. For a while, he had thought they had finally found someone else to bully. No, they just wanted Raf to feel safe so they could enjoy the experience more.

He yawned and glanced at the clock. Just like always, his mom hadn’t had the chance to come up to tell him to go to bed. He should have gone to sleep two hours ago. “She must have forgotten again,” he sighed. The boy was just about to close his computer and finally go to bed, when a message appeared on his screen.

_Hey Raf, you still up? :)_

Rubbing his eyes, he couldn’t help but chuckle. Of course Miko would still be up. She was always the first person to break rules. And not just once but constantly.

_Yes, I’m up but I just wanted to go to bed._

Miko replied within seconds. She must have already had the message ready to sent it the second he answered. _Ive thought about it and wanted to ask you to help me find Starscream._

Raf’s tiredness was gone immediately. _Miko the Autobots told us not to!_

_I know but we would help them, wouldn’t we?_

_Who knows what hes doing on there?_

_You and me are practically natives on the web. We have a higher chance of finding him than them._

Raf rubbed his temples. Of course she would come to him for this. Just why was she so desperate to run into danger head on? If she found Starscream and he realized who she was it wouldn’t end well for her. _Agent Fowler is probably also telling people to search for him. Why should we get involved?_

There was no reply for the next minute. The boy wondered if she had given up but he already knew he was having too much faith in her. _Look Raf, youve seen how Fowler was when we told him. He gave you that dismissive look that parents give you when they don’t believe a single word you say. Dont you wanna help the autobots? If we get even one of them we could get some sweet info. Hes the second in command, he has to know a lot of things! And what do you think Im gonna do? Tell him who I am? Im not stupid._

Raf sighed. As much as he wanted to disagree with her, he had the urge to help the Autobots. He wanted to help. Not by putting himself in danger like Miko, but in a meaningful way that would let the Autobots win the war.

_Alright. But if you do anything dangerous I will tell them._


End file.
